but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
