I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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