3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize