whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i believe in u and ur pee
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