Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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