The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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