Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
