She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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