Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
