She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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