just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
