Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
