He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
