Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That accounts for only three of the penises
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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