Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
