Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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