I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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