i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
