Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
