i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
