i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
