I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
