her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I enjoy the company of your penis
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
