the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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