Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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