What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
