Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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