is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Say something about gay babies.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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