bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize