walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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