i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
