Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
