My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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