He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
