Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
