May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
