i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
