I want to stick my p in your. b.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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