Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
