YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
