i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
