I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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