Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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