out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
