my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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