All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
