Define "chronic" masturbator.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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