so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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