I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
