I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Congratulations! We have a period
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
