that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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