They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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