Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
