Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
