Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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