i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
