This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
