You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
