Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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