don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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