I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
