so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
