Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Welp...herpes.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
