it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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