So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
