The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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