Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize